இயக்கம் (Iyakkam), noun: moving about, expression, way or path, (social) movement
I remember a Carnatic kutchēri (concert) I attended last Mārgazhi (one of the months in the Tamil calendar when the highly awaited classical music and dance festival is held, primarily in Chennai). The musicians played with the music, almost with a mischievous glint in their eyes, as they handled different rāgams and phrases and glided with one another in shared inspiration and attunement. The notes guided them, the silence offered ideas, and their bodies responded wholly to be swayed and moved by the music that was flowing through them. They were not simply creating the music — they too were being created by the music, and consequently, I was being created by the music I was listening to.
Live music is not only about what the musicians perform but also how they perform. It does not matter that one makes occasional mistakes while performing on stage; in fact, they are not really ‘mistakes’ but an integral part of the creation. These unfinished phrases offer a sense of the searching and the uncertainty that allows a more nuanced and authentic experience of oneness, of merging with the music, of merging with one another, and of repeatedly losing and becoming oneself. The musician, after having made a ‘mistake’, often attempts to follow the phrase again. The resolution of that phrase, of finding one’s way after getting lost, usually elicits enthusiastic encouragement and approval from the audience. This response is not simply about putting the musician at ease — it is thrilling for the audience too, to be a part of the musician’s journey of discovery, of witnessing their (mis)steps, and of (collectively) reaching a point of resolution.
As I engage in my PhD research in Counselling and Psychotherapy, I find myself following such creative beckonings, being moved towards ideas as I read, write, and reflect, and experiencing phrases and arguments emerge from such movements. This blog is an attempt to surrender to these movements, to follow my attempts of searching and exploring the unknown, and to offer my live research process — a glimpse of the how. This will involve random musings, partially formed ideas, and mischievous playfulness. The hope? To follow them and see where they lead us — perhaps towards a (collective) point of resolution.
I am aiming to write short pieces on the various ideas and reflections that are slowly forming through my process. I will be posting these pieces here and would love for you to engage with them in your own way. If you have the chance to follow me on my rambling movements and want to offer your thoughts, please do so. If it reminds you of something else - a song, a poem - feel free to share that with me. If you would like to express any emerging, visceral feelings - confusion, grief, joy - there is space for that too. I believe that research should not be confined within the high walls of academia, so you are most welcome to join me on my journey towards decolonial healing. And I would, in turn, be delighted to share in on the movements that this page evokes for you.
